A new light in the North - Podcast transcript


Act 1

Vitruvius:  Hey! Are you in there?
Me: Here we go again... Hey, what's up?

Vitruvius:  Mh... you know, I cannot sleep...
Me: -- thinking (as always, -BEEP-...) -- And why is that, if I may ask?

Vitruvius:  I can hear you, dumbass!
Me: --thinking (oh -BEEP-!) --

Vitruvius:  Again...
Me: Okay, stop it! What do you want?

Vitruvius:  Well, I was just wondering... your cousin and his wife are gonna have a baby, huh?
Me: Yep. Then what?

Vitruvius:  Stop kidding me... we have to come up with a gift!
Me: "We" you said? There's no "we", actually. Only my wife and I are gonna do that.

Vitruvius:  Oh, shut up! I won't stay around and watch you two buying yet another onesie!
Me: Sure, makes sense... designer and now stylist, too.

Vitruvius:  Enough, I say! We won't give out any jumpsuit this time. End point.
Me: Oh dear... and what's your idea of push gift?

Vitruvius:  A statue, of course.
Me: A statue?! Are you insane? Their baby will be born in a month, how are we supposed to make a statue in such a little time?

Vitruvius:  You know, you're always complaining? Grab your sketchbook, instead. 
Me: Okay, okay... I can't win with you... what the hell do you want me to do this time?

Vitruvius:  North. They're from northern Europe. A minimalistic approach, blended with few, essential warm-hearted elements. Ice and fire, you know?
Me: Easy, man... what do we know about Nordic minimalism?

Vitruvius:  Mh... let me think... nothing, I guess.
Me: Well, that's great. Ladies and gents, here comes the amazing designer. 

Vitruvius: Oh, come on! "Minimalism" stands for "minimal. It cannot be that difficult!
Me: Of course, that's it... and what about some Lego bricks? Are they minimal enough for you?

Vitruvius: Oh boy, you really put me off sometimes... Would you mind to get your pencil, please?
Me: Alright, fine!

Vitruvius:  Thank goodness... now focus. Two lovers, a baby on the way, minimal shapes. "Ice and fire", remember? Hey, are you still there?
Me: Yes, I am taking notes.

Vitruvius: Very funny, fella... Seriously, it's a hug I see. 
Me: A hug?!

Vitruvius:  Sure, a hug, what else? It's the ultimate symbol of pregnancy! She standing and very bucolic. He, hugging from her back, caressing her tummy.
Me: And where exactly is the minimalism supposed to be?

Vitruvius: You really can't see it? Two stylized bodies, no face, no legs, no chest. Forget about details. We just want two mannequins blended together in a hug. Then we put a bit of long hair and tummy on the foreground body just to tell mommy apart from daddy and that's all! Here's the ice-part. 
Me: yes, so much ice I'm about to catch a cold... Mh, let me better visualize it all... okay, let's say it works... what about fire, then? There's no room for heat in there if you stick to this style, unless you want to set the two lovebirds on fire, of course, ha ha ha. 

Vitruvius:  Sure, that could be an option... the fire is inside the womb. It's the baby, bonehead!
Me: hey, watch your mouth! But yes, it sounds quite nice, noobie... And yet, there's something still foggy to me, honestly. 

Vitruvius: Now what? It all adds up!
Me: Not so fast, my dear. The contrast cold vs. hot is cool, but fire doesn't work... it is not a fire. I want my cousins to perceive....



Act 2

Vitruvius:  Then enlighten me, smart guy!
Me: That's it! A light! It must be a light. Think about it: "the baby as a light for parents down the unknown path of parenthood"

Vitruvius:  Nope! Stop right there! Don't even think to turn our statue into a Chinese led-light torch. No way!
Me: What's wrong with the Chinese? By the way, no LED in my mind, but a candle, instead. And what's more, that's the way your beloved fire gets back in the game!

Vitruvius:  Oh my gosh, finally something reasonable... I like it. And let me tell you, the candle should be baby-shaped itself, with mom's tummy as a candle holder. Can you think up something like that or do I have to do everything myself, here, as always?!
Me: Snooty... My wife should have a baby figurine somewhere to get a mold of and cast it with wax. Lucky you, no need to design a baby from scratch. 

Vitruvius:  Well, I'll go on vacation for a while, then.
Me: Put your bags down, buddy. I might still need you. 

Vitruvius:  Might? You're lost without me, that's the truth. Case in point: the pedestal. I bet you haven't designed one yet, have you?
Me: Not yet, indeed. 

Vitruvius:  Breaking news: yet another task for me. Gosh I'm getting older... well: classical, baroque, futuristic, which one?
Me: Why don't we go natural? No pompous bases. A wood log, as it is. The power and beauty of the wild side.

Vitruvius:  sure...just say you don't want to design anything by yourself, slacker!
Me: Oh, you shut up! We should still have that pine slice from our last walk in the pinewood, somewhere

Vitruvius:  yes...we should, so what?
Me: So, that's an element from southern Europe to decorate our Nordic-style statue with!

Vitruvius:  hey, am I supposed to work for IKEA?? I am a designer, not a woodworker!!
Me: you're not a designer either, you're a pain in the -BEEP-..

Vitruvius:  Fine. Then stick to your IKEA plan and I'll keep you up wracked with guilt all night long
Me: And what's your wise piece of advice, Your Majesty?

Vitruvius:  Look, we can keep the log but not the wood.
Me: Huh?!

Vitruvius:  I know, I know... it sounds a bit tricky. Just hear me out: our pedestal will have the same shape as the log, but it will be made of a different material. A cold one, in line with the overall style of the statue. That's another way to keep up with the contrast "hot vs cold". The heat of wood and the cold of...
Me: glass! The cold of glass! There it is, shiny and elegant!

Vitruvius:  okay, sounds good, but quite challenging too, isn't it?
Me: well, not that much if we use clear epoxy resin. And the outcome will resemble glass almost perfectly...

Vitruvius: eww! Dealing with epoxy is so sticky...
Me: none of your design business. Clear resin. Deal?

Vitruvius:  deal. One last thing: some kind of inscription would be appreciated, I guess
Me: you're right. I'll think of a nice sentence as soon as I start crafting. I'm quite good at this

Vitruvius:  Really? Well, it makes sense, afterall...surely you're better at that than at designing...
Me: you're an -BEEP- 

Vitruvius:  by the way, good job, fella! I'm sure your cousins will be glad!
Me: Well, thank YOU, little brat! I really hope so!


END